Monday, February 8, 2010

Why Vegan??? If I have to explain myself one more time I am going to lose it!!!

So I get asked every single day, "Alex, why are you vegan?". Normally, I wouldn't really care. And often times, just to avoid the typical arguments presented by meat-eaters, I just smile, nod, and change the subject. I liken it to the arguments I have concerning religion and the existence of god. I will explain my stance, but you will be so blinded by your views that you won't even "hear me out." Here, I will post a summary of all the reasons I am a vegan. That way, when we are out to lunch or dinner, I don't have to waste my precious time explaining myself.

To start, I have to get some things off my chest. Lay the groundwork if you will. First, nothing is more annoying than someone acting disgusted or revolted that I am vegan.
Example: "Alex,.... you are a vegan???! Why would you ever do that?"
OK.... there are more reasons than your small little brain can handle, but I will keep it simple. My standard response is- It is good for your health, it is good for the environment, and it is the ethical thing to do. Of course I get the typical "We NEED meat in our diets!"- Umm.... no we don't brain stem.
Or "humans are carnivores and we eat meat for food because we can and it is part of being human!"- Yeah,.... no again buddy. Humans are not carnivores by nature and part of being human is the ability to adapt, learn, and progress. We now have the ability to be a vegetarian society and utilize land to raise crop that would support FAR MORE people than using it to raise cattle. But again- you can't reason with stupid. Who cares if we use all of this land to raise cattle that feeds several thousand when we could use the same land to feed hundreds of thousands..... Americans are privileged. We don't give a shit about anyone else. As long as you have your fat steak on your plate, you could give a fuck less about starving people half a world away.
Then there is the environment argument. I often hear that it is all a scam, all bullshit. Well, global warming may not be the case, but there is certainly global climate change going on. That, my friend, you cannot deny. Polluted water from runoff, methane production, increased use of oil and gas to logistically move cattle from factory farm to slaughter. Its all an ENORMOUS contributor to climate change.

Second, questioning my manhood because of my lifestyle is just plain stupid. This one always gets me. I often hear, "REAL men eat meat." "only women are vegetarian." "you must have a lot of estrogen from eating vegetarian." So ridiculously funny to hear these things.
Lets take the 1st statement... It actually takes more of a REAL man to be compassionate; to end an addiction to flesh. It takes more of man to admit they love animals and that they do NOT want to participate in the cowardice involved in the meat industry. It takes a real man to go against the grain of society and stand up for something that they know in their heart is wrong. So you sir, are actually a coward, a phony. You legitimize your actions because its the "manly" thing to do! Here is another fact- Vegetarian men are more fertile and can sustain an erection longer than those who eat meat. Here is an excerpt. In an article titled "Eat Yourself impotent" Dr. John McDougall states "The same diet that closes the arteries to the heart (heart attacks) and brain (stroke) also closes the arteries to the penis--the result is erectile dysfunction (ED), which means a delay in time for maximal erection, reduced rigidity, and decreased ability to sustain an erection." Also- "Studies have shown that impotence is often a sign of blocked arteries, and artery blockages are commonly caused by the consumption of meat, eggs, and dairy products, which are high in cholesterol and saturated fat." Chew on that. So not only are you balding at thirty and making fun of a vegan, but you have a limp penis. Bravo.
The second statement is not even worthy of a rebuttal. I wonder if guys who say this get laid. Honestly, a chauvinistic statement that further prevents you from ever finding a modern woman.
Third, this one is funny! "hey Alex, i hear that soy products make you grow boobs and decrease sex drive/testosterone." No you idiot, they do not. My main source of protein is from seeds, nuts, and whole grain. I would invite you to step in to a ring, or to run a race, or to do anything athletic with me and see who is deficient in testosterone. In fact, more and more athletes are subscribing to a vegetarian diet for its benefits in sports(more energy, explosiveness, endurance). See NFL tight end Tony Gonzales, Milwaukee Brewers 1st baseman Prince Fielder, Olympian Carl Lewis, UFC champion Mac Danzig.

And finally, I was raised eating meat, did my research, and decided to be vegan- so you will never change my mind. I was in your shoes and made a conscious effort to improve my life. Often times, the people that question me or argue with me were raised to eat meat. Therefore, that is all they know. How can you argue your point if you haven't explored the other side. Again, referring to my stance on religion. I would not be able to make as compelling an argument had I not been raised catholic. Because I was raised that way and believed it until my early 20s, I have seen both sides. I made an educated and conscious effort to change my entire belief system. So it is the same with meat. I was a meat-addict for more than 13 years of my life until one day I decided to challenge the status quo! Questioning the status quo and making your own decisions is a hard thing to do. Especially with subjects as though provoking as this. And as a young, 13 year old teenager who played 3 different sports, vying for the alpha position in my clique and in my circle of influence was hard. Especially when you were the vegetarian kid.
It makes me smile to know that now, I have essentially zero cholesterol, low blood pressure, got rid of my asthma, fertile, no ED, a full head of hair, and endless energy. So you know what? I am quite alright with defending my position. I am proud of where I stand. And if you so choose to step into an argument, I will see you in the ring. If you are interested in knowing more because you are ready to make a move, I would love to impart my knowledge on you. I am 27 now and have been vegan since age 13..... I feel like I may be a bit of an expert.

Live well

OAC

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Response to a Very Confused and Naive Christian

So I was on an atheist blog, and some clown who was offended by the content decided to write a response. Here it is:
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i am religious. however, i only have a couple questions to ask. one, what do atheist believe happens after death? cause if you think you'll die and just die then whats the point of liveng. two, how many of you atheist were religious people who gave up on your religion because you couldnt hang in there? cause i have had plenty a things happen to me to help me believe in god. and as for those of you who want to question Christianity. Christianity is a relationship not a religion. its like being married. if you cant hold in long enough to get to the good part, you'll end up missing out on something wonderful.
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Utterly amazing that this was his argument for religion. If this was his argument for religion and the majority of people in the world that are religious think this way...... then I am quite worried. You cannot reason with stupidity. Reason can only occur with intelligent beings. So Here is what I posted back. Pwned! P.S.- I titled the post "I DON'T BELIEVE IN MAGIC".
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In response to the above guest. Normally I don't respond to people who can not spell or form proper sentences, but you seem very naive.- i only have a couple questions to ask. one, what do atheist believe happens after death? NOTHING, YOU CEASE TO EXIST. cause if you think you'll die and just die then whats the point of liveng. THAT IS THE VERY POINT OF LIVING! IF YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE KNOWING THAT THIS IS IT, YOUR ONE AND ONLY SHOT, YOU WILL LIVE A LIFE OF BEAUTY AND LOVE. PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE THIS NOTION THAT THIS LIFE IS LESS IMPORTANT THAN YOUR SO CALLED "ETERNAL LIFE" IN HEAVEN. two, how many of you atheist were religious people who gave up on your religion because you couldnt hang in there? UNLESS YOU ARE BORN IN TO AN ATHEIST SOCIETY, YOU CAN NOT CONTROL HOW YOU ARE BROUGHT UP. JUST LIKE YOU CAN'T CHOOSE YOUR SEX OR YOUR SKIN COLOR. THE WONDERFUL THING THOUGH, IS THAT YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND FIND OUT THE TRUTH FOR YOURSELF. cause i have had plenty a things happen to me to help me believe in god. LIKE WHAT? DOES YOUR GOD GRANT YOU YOUR PRAYERS AND WISHES BUT NOT THE POOR PEOPLE OF HAITI? HOW ARE YOU SO SPECIAL? and as for those of you who want to question Christianity. Christianity is a relationship not a religion. TYPICAL CHRISTIAN RESPONSE its like being married. 60% DIVORCE RATE CURRENTLY, MARRIAGE IS AS FAILED AS RELIGION if you cant hold in long enough to get to the good part, you'll end up missing out on something wonderful. SO YOU HAVE TO WAIT TO GET TO THE GOOD PART? WHY NOT AUTOMATICALLY GET THE GOOD PART. FREE YOUR MIND! IT IS NO SURPRISE THAT THE MOST INTELLIGENT AND SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE TO EVER WALK THIS EARTH WERE ATHEISTS.

OAC

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Everyday Humour (I like spelling it that way)

Ah yes.... Funny things are everywhere. I make it a point to look for things that are funny on a daily basis. Essentially, if you find no humour in anything at least once a day, you are a sad, bitter, and an empty-shell of a human.

Exhibit A- Motorcycle with Sidecar
I did not actually snap this picture, but I did in fact, see a motorcycle and sidecar on the highway. For some reason I find it to be funny. Anytime I see one, I think, "that is funny, but it could be a lot funnier if a giant brown bear was driving it with maybe an English bulldog in the sidecar." Maybe even have the bulldog driving and the bear riding in the sidecar with a spiked helmet, goggles, and a scarf....no pants however. A cow is pretty damn funny though. Cheers to you sidecar motorcycle guy.

Exhibit B- Pirate at the Supermarket
So there is this guy that I see everywhere near where I live. I have seen him at gas stations, supermarkets, and the liquor store. Normally this wouldn't be all that odd, but why he makes the list is that he has a bad ass eye patch with a single diamond on it! To make things even more awesome, is that this guy has an enormous beard and a slight limp. Case in point, this guy is a god damn pirate! Of course, anytime I see a guy with an eye patch, I can't help but stare and think "this is a real god damn pirate within our midst!" Thank you pirate, your missing eye makes my day.

Exhibit C- The Banana Peel
Remember the old Looney Tunes cartoons where the witty and sly mouse would strategically place a banana peel on the ground? Enter the big, lanky, stupid cat who would step on the peel and eat shit. Well, on my way to work a few days ago, I was minding my own goddamn business when I stepped on said banana peel and ate shit. All while wearing a suit! How the hell does that happen? Bananas are not slippery by nature, but this one got me. All I have to show for it is a cracked coccyx and complete shame. FML

Exhibit D- The General Larry Platt
Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground

With the gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways
Pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat
Lookin’ like a fool
Walkin’ downtown with your pants on the ground

Get it up, hey!
Get your pants off the ground
Lookin’ like a fool
Walkin’ talkin’ with your pants on the ground.

Get it up, hey!
Get your pants off the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground


Good Night, and Good Luck

OAC

Thursday, January 7, 2010

WTF

Words cannot describe....

Copy this link in your browser and try to understand

http://toledo.craigslist.org/mis/1522301180.html

Bob Saget Meltdown. Wow Danny, relax

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Moustaches- an endangered species

Whether you have a moustache because your a world leader, a television host, an old-time barber, or reliving the 1980s- the "stache" is the epitome of man. A simple strip of fur between your mouth and nose.

It says, "I ooze confidence, I can kill a wild boar with my bare hands, I can preform actual magic, I AM an aphrodisiac, i eat raw eggs like skittles, I am omnipotent,...."

Why is the moustache better than a beard? Your beard functions as an excuse for sloth. A beard says, "listen, I am lazy, so lazy in fact,....that I don't want to shave." A moustache shows that you are all BUT lazy. You have the patience, strength, and virility to grow a beard, then trim it in such a glorious manner, that the moustache becomes a work of art; a beautiful arrangement of strategically pruned follicles that only certain men can attain and display.
Why should you consider owning one?
- it will make you a more legitimate dictator
- during cold days, it says, "my face may be cold, but my upper lip is fantastically warm"
- you want to scare little kids
- you are the mayor of HOBOTOWN, USA
- flirting with a goat
- thanks to the "moustache ride", you become popular with the ladies
- its the ORIGINAL flavor-saver
- you will automatically become a)wise, or b)creepy
- it makes you smarter, especially when you touch it while in deep thought
- solidarity with your Spanish/Middle Eastern girlfriend
- allows the wearing of a leather studded cap and chaps in public
- instantaneously grants the wearer the ability to speak Italian, French, Spanish, or any other "romantic" language
- you perform better in bed

But,..... there is a problem, this is an official call to action. The moustache is becoming extinct! Yes! It is slowly disappearing under our very noses!

Moustaches have rapidly been declining since the mid-1980s. Moustaches have been around since the advent of the razor in 3000 B.C. during the Bronze Age. Here is a list of famous moustaches in history:
Charlie Chaplin
Teddy Roosevelt
Tom Selleck
Jason Giambi
Mark Twain
Flaubert
Burt Reynolds
Freddie Mercury
Albert Einstein
Hulk Hogan
Groucho Marx
Sammy Davis Junior
Marlon Brando
Borat
Ned Flanders
Geraldo
Dick Van Dyke
John Cleese
Clearly, I have left many famous moustaches off this list, but you get the point. Would Mark Twain have been one of the greatest writers in American history without his stache? Doubtful. Would Freddy Mercury have made Queen one of the greatest rock bands of all time? Hardly. Case in point, the moustache makes a man a more awesome man.

So why the decline? This is a perplexing question. Perhaps the advent of men's fashion magazines owned by women that have created a moustache witch hunt. Maybe men are becoming less manly, due to the hormones and preservatives added to the foods we eat. We may never know. I am certain that if the moustache was treated with more reverence and honor, we would see a reformation- an enlightenment that would in turn mean, world peace, well written novels and poems, funnier comedy, and better music to name a few. This is my call to action! Grow a moustache now, not later! Do not wait until you are an old man. Do it now! FACT- those who have a moustache live longer and have more meaningful lives(this cannot be proved, but it makes sense).

On a serious note, many of you may know that I do indeed, now wear a moustache. I have decided to join a global movement that is bringing much needed attention to cancers that affect men. I’m doing this by growing a Moustache this Movember, the month formerly known as November. My commitment is to grow a moustache all November to change the face of men’s health. Think "pink ribbon", but in hair form, and on my lip.

The funds we raise during our Moustache journey go to the Prostate Cancer Foundation and the Lance Armstrong Foundation (LIVESTRONG).

What many people don’t know is that 1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime and that testicular cancer is the most common cancer in men aged 18-35. Facts like these have convinced me I should get involved.

To make a donation, you can go to my link http://us.movember.com/mospace/40007/ and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account.

Ciao :{

OAC

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Hey MMA guy- You're a douche bag- yes you...oh, and your girlfriend is an idiot

Ok- so I have an issue with MMA guy and his girlfriend. I really just can't stand them. I found this guys pick on thedirty.com. He ACTUALLY exists,.....here in Colorado. Littleton, where I am from! What a loser! If anyone recognizes him, please let me know, I want to "friend" him on facebook.

And the jeans???? Are those Wranglers from Sears.... disgusting.

So the above pic is the topic of this entry. I just love the whole demographic. I always chuckle when I see these guys out in public. Its like, "brother, frosted tips were cool in 1997 and your shirt looks like you bought it in the kids section at JC Penneys."

Here is a list of characteristics that define an MMA douche bag.

1)You are training to be a UFC fighter.
You are such a joker. let me guess,....you are waiting to get on the next season of Ultimate Fighter. You and your buddies Chad and Carpenter meet at 24 Hour Fitness Highlands Ranch every day at the crack of noon(because you have no job). Truth is, your a pussy. A giant loser who goes to Lodos and/or Cowboy Lounge to flaunt your douchbaggery and start a fight. And the funniest thing is, its the guys like you that I see get their asses kicked when YOU start the fight. Your so funny. Go sit on your "perfect pushup" and spin shithead.

2)You like Nickelback.
Awww, did I offend you? I am offended! Creed, Daughtrey, 3 Doors Down, Vertical Horizon, Sevendust.... the list goes on and on. So not only are you a wannabe MMA fighter, but your taste in music blows. I could play a nickelback song with my 2 string guitar. Amazing talent-less ass clowns. Check out this classic Nickelback fail. I love when he says, "You guys wanna listen to some rock and roll!?!?" HAHA what and idiot.
If Nickelback is rock-n-roll, then I am Jesus Christ. Check this out- Nickelback sucks-.... and you like Nickelback, thence forth, If you like Nickelback you suck. See how that works! Done.

3)You wear Affliction gear.
You are a UFC fighter, therefore you have to dress like the one you and Chad like. You buy all his shirt designs at the Buckle. Oh, but wait. Make sure its size "smedium". You want to be sure to show off your shaved arms and creatine swollen biceps.
Jesus, you are such a loser. I am confident, I do like myself very much, but you sir, you actually want to have sex with yourself! Like the get-your-ribs-removed kind of sex. Whats even better is that when I say, "GO FUCK YOURSELF", I literally mean it.

4)You live with your parents
So you can afford the $60 dollar affliction tees every week, you can afford getting your hair cut and frosted at Great Clips, you can afford the spoiler on your 96' civic, you can afford going to the gym for 4 hours a day, you can afford to go to Lodo's, Maloney's, and 5 degrees every night as well. How is this possible???? Simple...you are a piece of shit and you have no job because your mommy and daddy gave you everything but a good work ethic, you live in the basement, you eat their food, you use their facilities, you are a LOSER. Of course you can afford all that shit if you have no operating expenses that you pay for. Which begs the question- how do you have a girlfriend? Is she equally stupid? Does she actually like you? I can't imagine she does. Shes probably using you so that you will buy her that "sweet" ED HARDY shirt from T.J. Maxx and shes probably fucking Chad.

5)You have either a barbed wire, tribal, or asian writing
This is a little touchy. I don't ever poke fun at tattoos that suck. I have one myself I am not too crazy about. But when you go and pick your tattoo from a book that has NO meaning to you, your a trashy shithead. Wow, your asian tattoo say, "strength". That makes you a moron. Oh, your tribal is one you designed yourself- WOW you are dumber than I thought. Just think before you ink, OK? That goes for all of you!


Man- NOW IM REALLY FIRED UP! I could go on forever, but then I would be giving these clowns the attention they so yearn for, that mommy never gave them..... So I have to go now and do some productive things today in preparation for my fantastic "Billy Mays" costume.

And for the record- I will be out tonight with camera in hand. If I see any of you MMA D-bags, I will take a picture, and I will post it on here, and I will make fun of you.

Fin

OAC

My first(second) blog

Ahhh- I feel great about this...finally, a place to speak my mind.

Being a father has taught me to be a little more patient. Well, patient with kids...my kids. There are definitely kids out there that annoy the piss out of me. Actually, its their parents that fire me right up. But I digress....

I am not patient with stupidity. There is a difference between being dumb and being stupid. Dumb people can't help it, perhaps they have smaller brains or a they are the product of inbreeding(not imbreeding, if you say imbreeding, you are a dumbass). Stupid people are people that are supposedly intelligent, maybe college educated, successful at their jobs, pretty well organized..... but they are complete idiots. Why? Because they make stupid comments, they believe in stupid things, they make decisions based on the majority, they don't look at things logically, they are not open minded.... Unfortunately,....they are MOST people.



Don't get me wrong, I love people. I love people that I don't agree with even. If I hated everyone I disagree with, I would have zero friends. I can find things in every person to like (except John Travolta, Tom Cruise, & Warren Jeffs). I am in sales for crying out loud. It would be a terrible career choice otherwise.


So what will I talk about? Not sure.... things that piss me off or make me think. Maybe things that piss you off. But the goal is to talk about what most of us think. There is enough fodder out there to write for days and days, thanks to balloon boy.

Isn't Falcon a little creeper? Hes like a cross between "Children of the Corn", the little asian kid from "The Grudge", and "Chucky." But what is creeper, is his dad....seriously off his rocker. You know your dad is a wackjob when he makes you do a music video called, "pussified."


I have a rather raw view on things and could give a shit less about people that disagree. That is the beauty of an opinion. If you don't like it, you can kiss my ass. Now I do love hate mail though...but be warned, if you send me hatemail, I will post it on the blog and I will destroy it with my wit. You will be laughed at and you will cry. In that vein, if you are curious about my opinion on something and want me to write about it....send it my way to oneangrycuban@gmail.com. So let the good times roll.

OAC

Friday, October 30, 2009

Swine Flu- GFY






Swine flu....hmmm where do I start?

So I received a call from a friend about 6 months ago, completely freaking out about this flu of the swine. Needless to say, I deleted their number and un-friended them on Facebook(burn). I have decided I cannot be friends with idiots. Yep, I said it.... I might as well set the tone for the future of this blog.

Truth is, the common flu kills way more people than the swine flu. At least thats what an ACTUAL doctor told me. But what do they know? The fact that everyone is getting this thing is a function of the fact that its a new strain and nobody has gotten it before(with some exceptions).

I must say though- the way the media handled this was classic.... First its swine flu, then balloon boy... give me a fucking break CNN, Really,...really? I have some advice for any CNN watchers- do yourself a favor and turn it off! I can't forget to mention Fox news and CNBC... CNBC really pisses me off- thats for another post though.

Heres a goddamn idea, how about worrying about more pressing issues! Remember Asian Bird Flu? or SARS? More bullshit shoved into our faces. But enough is enough! There is a vaccine for H1N1! Did you know that? A fucking vaccine! Therefore rendering this an even more pointless topic that I am ashamed to have made my first blog topic.

I won't take the vaccine! My kids may, but I will not, WHY??? Because there is this thing called an immune system that is generally a beast. This then leads me down the topic of health and why I am a vegetarian. But I wont uppercut you with that knowledge just yet.

Now I am going to unleash a little. I was thinking that actually speaking my mind was going to anger some, but thats why I created this blog- so I can say whatever the hell I want....sooooo.... if you are a whiner, please leave my blog now!

First- swine flu is a form of population control. (to be clear, I am referring to adults, kids are different story, so shut your damn mouth). If you are healthy, clean, and educated about it, you will reduce your chances of getting it! Have you heard of the "swine flu parties"? WOW- are you people mentally challenged? Are you that fucking stupid? Putting your kids in certain danger by trying to get them sick? You are such great parents! Good for you idiots!

Second- is it necessary to shut down schools? NO! How about, if your kid is sick, keep them home! Don't be an imbecile, use your brain stem.

Third- The real winner here is the pharmaceutical companies... You watch the news, you freak out, you think this a sign of the apocalypse, you avoid people, you pay for the vaccine, and viola,.... you are free and clear. Do you want to know how many flu shots I have gotten in my life? ZERO! Absolutely none! AND GUESS WHAT.... I have not had the flu! Further proof that Darwin was right and creationists are wrong. Survival of the fittest in our very midst.

Oh- and fuck the Egyptian government! Why? Because when this whole swine flu gag started, they slaughtered EVERY pig in Egypt to protect their people! HaHa, halfway around the world from where it all started. AND why did they slaughter all the pigs? Because they are muslim bullies, just like every other fanatical religious arm. They did it to piss off the christians. And this will undoubtedly become a topic soon, maybe titled "Insane- a look at religion".

Thanks for reading, please give me feedback, topics to discuss and so forth. If you were offended, then you are stupider than I thought because I told you to leave the blog- you get EVERYTHING you deserve. And you may as well grow a pair.

OAC

Testing 12 free

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