My Honest and Open Thoughts on Suicide

This is a bit of a touchy subject. Although most of my posts are humorous and edgy, this one is not. I feel that this subject is taboo and needs to be talked about more so that we don't lose the people we love. The information pertaining to suicide is staggering...

I never really understood why people kill themselves and I really never understood how it is actually criminal to take your own life. You never really know who silently struggles with depression, substance abuse and mental illness. Here are my thoughts relating to suicide, mental illness and civic responsibility.

To preface, I have experienced suicide in many different ways. I have lost a couple friends and have also had many acquaintances that have taken their own lives. I also serve on the board of a non-profit organization that works to end teen suicide in Colorado and across the nation. Daily, emails roll into to my inbox of "referrals" of kids across the state that have been admitted to see a mental health professional for suicidal ideation and tendencies.

First- Suicide in Colorado
Colorado ranks 6th in the country for suicides. It also is the 2nd leading cause of death in the state behind motor vehicle fatalities in youth. There are an average of 60 a month in the state, and thats not including the spike you see during times of economic turmoil like we have seen these last 2 years. 5%, or 5 out of every 100 residents in this state have either attempted or have thought about doing it. So for every 100 people you see shuffling through the mall on a Saturday, 5 of them are considering to end their lives. Women contemplate it 50% more often than men, yet men are 4 times more likely to complete the act. Also, men tend to use more violent methods like guns or hanging while women tend to overdose on medications or cut. Risk factors for suicide can be characteristics of an individual (being male, having a mental or physical illness, having a family history of suicide), situational (living alone, being unemployed) or behavioral (alcoholism, drug abuse or owning a gun).

Second- Mental Illness
Now, in the cases that I have experienced, I always thought to myself..... "How could they do it?" "I never thought they would." The truth is, often times they do illicit signs that foreshadow an upcoming attempt. Like I mentioned above, if you know someone who is male, living alone, owning a gun, unemployed, that drinks a lot,..... that is a red flag. Obviously thats not always going to be true, but the statistics say that person is at a higher risk. A good friend of mine that took his life 2 years ago did not really fall into this group. He was married, had a child, worked, and never owned a weapon. What it comes down to is knowing your friends and keying in to any warning signs.
Here are a few:
-Despondent
-Wanting to be alone
-Carelessness
-Joke about killing themselves making off-the-cuff remarks
-Giving away possessions for no apparent reason
-Religious and/or cultural pressures (young catholic Latina women currently have the highest rate)
-Dramatic changes in mood and behavior
Often times these people are battling the "demons" in their head and for whatever reason, do not seek help. Reasons can include economic issues, and fear of what family and friends might think if they found out.
Our current health care system in Colorado and nation wide is broken, especially when it comes to mental health. The good thing is, people that have contemplated and/or attempted suicide that finally got help, usually get better and survive.

Third- Civic Responsibility
The fact that we have money pouring in to things like cancer research and automobile safety is promising from a financial standpoint. The issue is that something as taboo as suicide gets the back seat. Why don't people want to talk about it? The answer is complicated. Again, it can be religious(most religious sects avoid the topic and disregard the issue), cultural(admitting that one has thought about it can severely affect ones place in a given culture), or economic(without a physical and visible illness, people with little means may find it hard to legitimize spending the money to get help). We need to talk about it more and make it "OK" to get help if help is needed.

In closing- So what can you or I do about this very real and very serious issue? As mentioned, communication is key. If you ever find someone you know that is displaying any of the above warning signs, confront them. It may be hard to do, but simply asking, "are you thinking about killing yourself?" is a great way to start. Studies find that most people who have attempted suicide never REALLY WANTED TO DIE. When posed with the question, they may get mad or defensive, but I would rather have a loved one angry with me than dead. You can mend relationships, but if someone is gone, there is nothing you can do. We live in a transplant state. People from all over the world move here for various reasons. Often times they leave close family and friends behind and try to establish a life in our beautiful state. Their support system may be gone. Also, Colorado lives with an "old west" mentality of picking yourself up by your bootstraps when you get knocked down and being a strong and stoic individual that doesn't need help from others.

So call up that friend or family member that you thought of while reading this and see how they are doing, go out for coffee, and let them know that you care for them and that you are always there for them.

Alex