Hey MMA guy- You're a douche bag- yes you...oh, and your girlfriend is an idiot

Ok- so I have an issue with MMA guy and his girlfriend. I really just can't stand them. I found this guys pick on thedirty.com. He ACTUALLY exists,.....here in Colorado. Littleton, where I am from! What a loser! If anyone recognizes him, please let me know, I want to "friend" him on facebook.

And the jeans???? Are those Wranglers from Sears.... disgusting.

So the above pic is the topic of this entry. I just love the whole demographic. I always chuckle when I see these guys out in public. Its like, "brother, frosted tips were cool in 1997 and your shirt looks like you bought it in the kids section at JC Penneys."

Here is a list of characteristics that define an MMA douche bag.

1)You are training to be a UFC fighter.
You are such a joker. let me guess,....you are waiting to get on the next season of Ultimate Fighter. You and your buddies Chad and Carpenter meet at 24 Hour Fitness Highlands Ranch every day at the crack of noon(because you have no job). Truth is, your a pussy. A giant loser who goes to Lodos and/or Cowboy Lounge to flaunt your douchbaggery and start a fight. And the funniest thing is, its the guys like you that I see get their asses kicked when YOU start the fight. Your so funny. Go sit on your "perfect pushup" and spin shithead.

2)You like Nickelback.
Awww, did I offend you? I am offended! Creed, Daughtrey, 3 Doors Down, Vertical Horizon, Sevendust.... the list goes on and on. So not only are you a wannabe MMA fighter, but your taste in music blows. I could play a nickelback song with my 2 string guitar. Amazing talent-less ass clowns. Check out this classic Nickelback fail. I love when he says, "You guys wanna listen to some rock and roll!?!?" HAHA what and idiot.
If Nickelback is rock-n-roll, then I am Jesus Christ. Check this out- Nickelback sucks-.... and you like Nickelback, thence forth, If you like Nickelback you suck. See how that works! Done.

3)You wear Affliction gear.
You are a UFC fighter, therefore you have to dress like the one you and Chad like. You buy all his shirt designs at the Buckle. Oh, but wait. Make sure its size "smedium". You want to be sure to show off your shaved arms and creatine swollen biceps.
Jesus, you are such a loser. I am confident, I do like myself very much, but you sir, you actually want to have sex with yourself! Like the get-your-ribs-removed kind of sex. Whats even better is that when I say, "GO FUCK YOURSELF", I literally mean it.

4)You live with your parents
So you can afford the $60 dollar affliction tees every week, you can afford getting your hair cut and frosted at Great Clips, you can afford the spoiler on your 96' civic, you can afford going to the gym for 4 hours a day, you can afford to go to Lodo's, Maloney's, and 5 degrees every night as well. How is this possible???? Simple...you are a piece of shit and you have no job because your mommy and daddy gave you everything but a good work ethic, you live in the basement, you eat their food, you use their facilities, you are a LOSER. Of course you can afford all that shit if you have no operating expenses that you pay for. Which begs the question- how do you have a girlfriend? Is she equally stupid? Does she actually like you? I can't imagine she does. Shes probably using you so that you will buy her that "sweet" ED HARDY shirt from T.J. Maxx and shes probably fucking Chad.

5)You have either a barbed wire, tribal, or asian writing
This is a little touchy. I don't ever poke fun at tattoos that suck. I have one myself I am not too crazy about. But when you go and pick your tattoo from a book that has NO meaning to you, your a trashy shithead. Wow, your asian tattoo say, "strength". That makes you a moron. Oh, your tribal is one you designed yourself- WOW you are dumber than I thought. Just think before you ink, OK? That goes for all of you!


Man- NOW IM REALLY FIRED UP! I could go on forever, but then I would be giving these clowns the attention they so yearn for, that mommy never gave them..... So I have to go now and do some productive things today in preparation for my fantastic "Billy Mays" costume.

And for the record- I will be out tonight with camera in hand. If I see any of you MMA D-bags, I will take a picture, and I will post it on here, and I will make fun of you.

Fin

OAC

My first(second) blog

Ahhh- I feel great about this...finally, a place to speak my mind.

Being a father has taught me to be a little more patient. Well, patient with kids...my kids. There are definitely kids out there that annoy the piss out of me. Actually, its their parents that fire me right up. But I digress....

I am not patient with stupidity. There is a difference between being dumb and being stupid. Dumb people can't help it, perhaps they have smaller brains or a they are the product of inbreeding(not imbreeding, if you say imbreeding, you are a dumbass). Stupid people are people that are supposedly intelligent, maybe college educated, successful at their jobs, pretty well organized..... but they are complete idiots. Why? Because they make stupid comments, they believe in stupid things, they make decisions based on the majority, they don't look at things logically, they are not open minded.... Unfortunately,....they are MOST people.



Don't get me wrong, I love people. I love people that I don't agree with even. If I hated everyone I disagree with, I would have zero friends. I can find things in every person to like (except John Travolta, Tom Cruise, & Warren Jeffs). I am in sales for crying out loud. It would be a terrible career choice otherwise.


So what will I talk about? Not sure.... things that piss me off or make me think. Maybe things that piss you off. But the goal is to talk about what most of us think. There is enough fodder out there to write for days and days, thanks to balloon boy.

Isn't Falcon a little creeper? Hes like a cross between "Children of the Corn", the little asian kid from "The Grudge", and "Chucky." But what is creeper, is his dad....seriously off his rocker. You know your dad is a wackjob when he makes you do a music video called, "pussified."


I have a rather raw view on things and could give a shit less about people that disagree. That is the beauty of an opinion. If you don't like it, you can kiss my ass. Now I do love hate mail though...but be warned, if you send me hatemail, I will post it on the blog and I will destroy it with my wit. You will be laughed at and you will cry. In that vein, if you are curious about my opinion on something and want me to write about it....send it my way to oneangrycuban@gmail.com. So let the good times roll.

OAC

Swine Flu- GFY

Swine flu....hmmm where do I start?

So I received a call from a friend about 6 months ago, completely freaking out about this flu of the swine. Needless to say, I deleted their number and un-friended them on Facebook(burn). I have decided I cannot be friends with idiots. Yep, I said it.... I might as well set the tone for the future of this blog.

Truth is, the common flu kills way more people than the swine flu. At least thats what an ACTUAL doctor told me. But what do they know? The fact that everyone is getting this thing is a function of the fact that its a new strain and nobody has gotten it before(with some exceptions).

I must say though- the way the media handled this was classic.... First its swine flu, then balloon boy... give me a fucking break CNN, Really,...really? I have some advice for any CNN watchers- do yourself a favor and turn it off! I can't forget to mention Fox news and CNBC... CNBC really pisses me off- thats for another post though.

Heres a goddamn idea, how about worrying about more pressing issues! Remember Asian Bird Flu? or SARS? More bullshit shoved into our faces. But enough is enough! There is a vaccine for H1N1! Did you know that? A fucking vaccine! Therefore rendering this an even more pointless topic that I am ashamed to have made my first blog topic.

I won't take the vaccine! My kids may, but I will not, WHY??? Because there is this thing called an immune system that is generally a beast. This then leads me down the topic of health and why I am a vegetarian. But I wont uppercut you with that knowledge just yet.

Now I am going to unleash a little. I was thinking that actually speaking my mind was going to anger some, but thats why I created this blog- so I can say whatever the hell I want....sooooo.... if you are a whiner, please leave my blog now!

First- swine flu is a form of population control. (to be clear, I am referring to adults, kids are different story, so shut your damn mouth). If you are healthy, clean, and educated about it, you will reduce your chances of getting it! Have you heard of the "swine flu parties"? WOW- are you people mentally challenged? Are you that fucking stupid? Putting your kids in certain danger by trying to get them sick? You are such great parents! Good for you idiots!

Second- is it necessary to shut down schools? NO! How about, if your kid is sick, keep them home! Don't be an imbecile, use your brain stem.

Third- The real winner here is the pharmaceutical companies... You watch the news, you freak out, you think this a sign of the apocalypse, you avoid people, you pay for the vaccine, and viola,.... you are free and clear. Do you want to know how many flu shots I have gotten in my life? ZERO! Absolutely none! AND GUESS WHAT.... I have not had the flu! Further proof that Darwin was right and creationists are wrong. Survival of the fittest in our very midst.

Oh- and fuck the Egyptian government! Why? Because when this whole swine flu gag started, they slaughtered EVERY pig in Egypt to protect their people! HaHa, halfway around the world from where it all started. AND why did they slaughter all the pigs? Because they are muslim bullies, just like every other fanatical religious arm. They did it to piss off the christians. And this will undoubtedly become a topic soon, maybe titled "Insane- a look at religion".

Thanks for reading, please give me feedback, topics to discuss and so forth. If you were offended, then you are stupider than I thought because I told you to leave the blog- you get EVERYTHING you deserve. And you may as well grow a pair.

OAC

Testing 12 free

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