And the jeans???? Are those Wranglers from Sears.... disgusting.
So the above pic is the topic of this entry. I just love the whole demographic. I always chuckle when I see these guys out in public. Its like, "brother, frosted tips were cool in 1997 and your shirt looks like you bought it in the kids section at JC Penneys."
Here is a list of characteristics that define an MMA douche bag.
1)You are training to be a UFC fighter.
You are such a joker. let me guess,....you are waiting to get on the next season of Ultimate Fighter. You and your buddies Chad and Carpenter meet at 24 Hour Fitness Highlands Ranch every day at the crack of noon(because you have no job). Truth is, your a pussy. A giant loser who goes to Lodos and/or Cowboy Lounge to flaunt your douchbaggery and start a fight. And the funniest thing is, its the guys like you that I see get their asses kicked when YOU start the fight. Your so funny. Go sit on your "perfect pushup" and spin shithead.
2)You like Nickelback.
Awww, did I offend you? I am offended! Creed, Daughtrey, 3 Doors Down, Vertical Horizon, Sevendust.... the list goes on and on. So not only are you a wannabe MMA fighter, but your taste in music blows. I could play a nickelback song with my 2 string guitar. Amazing talent-less ass clowns. Check out this classic Nickelback fail. I love when he says, "You guys wanna listen to some rock and roll!?!?" HAHA what and idiot.
If Nickelback is rock-n-roll, then I am Jesus Christ. Check this out- Nickelback sucks-.... and you like Nickelback, thence forth, If you like Nickelback you suck. See how that works! Done.
3)You wear Affliction gear.
You are a UFC fighter, therefore you have to dress like the one you and Chad like. You buy all his shirt designs at the Buckle. Oh, but wait. Make sure its size "smedium". You want to be sure to show off your shaved arms and creatine swollen biceps.
Jesus, you are such a loser. I am confident, I do like myself very much, but you sir, you actually want to have sex with yourself! Like the get-your-ribs-removed kind of sex. Whats even better is that when I say, "GO FUCK YOURSELF", I literally mean it.
4)You live with your parents
So you can afford the $60 dollar affliction tees every week, you can afford getting your hair cut and frosted at Great Clips, you can afford the spoiler on your 96' civic, you can afford going to the gym for 4 hours a day, you can afford to go to Lodo's, Maloney's, and 5 degrees every night as well. How is this possible???? Simple...you are a piece of shit and you have no job because your mommy and daddy gave you everything but a good work ethic, you live in the basement, you eat their food, you use their facilities, you are a LOSER. Of course you can afford all that shit if you have no operating expenses that you pay for. Which begs the question- how do you have a girlfriend? Is she equally stupid? Does she actually like you? I can't imagine she does. Shes probably using you so that you will buy her that "sweet" ED HARDY shirt from T.J. Maxx and shes probably fucking Chad.
5)You have either a barbed wire, tribal, or asian writing
This is a little touchy. I don't ever poke fun at tattoos that suck. I have one myself I am not too crazy about. But when you go and pick your tattoo from a book that has NO meaning to you, your a trashy shithead. Wow, your asian tattoo say, "strength". That makes you a moron. Oh, your tribal is one you designed yourself- WOW you are dumber than I thought. Just think before you ink, OK? That goes for all of you!
Man- NOW IM REALLY FIRED UP! I could go on forever, but then I would be giving these clowns the attention they so yearn for, that mommy never gave them..... So I have to go now and do some productive things today in preparation for my fantastic "Billy Mays" costume.
And for the record- I will be out tonight with camera in hand. If I see any of you MMA D-bags, I will take a picture, and I will post it on here, and I will make fun of you.
Fin
OAC
No comments:
Post a Comment